Yes Man...

"If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."

Anyone who has ever "fell" for something knows how accurate this statement is. What's even worst is this has been the story of my life. *insert super sad face* LOL! Man this self revealing process/season God has me in is something else. It is so painful, yet so liberating. I am learning more and more of myself. More and more things I don't like. More and more things I desire to change about myself. But I am also learning who I really am, beneath the lies, the masks, the people I pretended to be…beyond all of that, I am finding Kaitlyn. I must admit I am loving her! 

Over this past week, Holy Spirit called me the "yes man". I got so enraged when He said it. Like really mad. Don't try to tell me you've never got mad when He revealed yourself to you! I know I am not alone here. But then I looked over my life, even the past couple months. Shoot even just last week. I looked at how many times I agreed to something I didn't want to do. How many times I said "Yes" when I wanted to say no. And then I looked at the select few times I actually said "No" and how it made me feel. How it caused such a hurt and pain in me. How the guilt over came me to the point were I was actually depressed for saying no as if I wasn't entitled to saying no to something I don't want to do. 

And then it hit me…I HAVE BEEN A YES MAN! One that says yes to everything regardless of what I have going on, the resources I don't have, the time I don't have, or how I have to rearrange my schedule to fit that in. What hurt more is that I was a YES MAN with people. I wasn't a yes man with God! I have been in this walk for over 8 years and for the majority of them, as sad as it is, God had to pull teeth to get a yes out of me. I never realized it was because I wasn't completely surrendered. One Saturday in woman's prayer the Holy Spirit used someone to encourage me. One of the things she said was "it is evident that all you want is God." As the tears flowed that day, I for once truly seen my shift. A shift that only God could cause. So yes, I am a Yes Man…but I am a Yes Man to God. I am whole heartedly submitted to Him! I will no long be the one who bends over backwards for people while God gets nothing from me! 

If you're going to be a yes man, let God be the one getting the Yes!

~Kaitlyn