Paralyzing Fear

F.E.A.R.=False Evidence Appearing Real

Fear has been many things to me but one thing it has never been is helpful. Fear has caused me to do one of two things; never start or quit before I finish. When I mention fear you're probably thinking everyone fears, but not like this. Up until now, I chose to ignore my fear. To try to pretend it didn't exist. Somewhere in my dysfunctional thinking I believed I could just "wish it away" by pretending I was okay. But truth is I wasn't okay.

"I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always…so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you." Yann Martel

I was terrified to do even the basic of things. As a disciple of christ I should want to be all that God wants me to be. I should want to perform miracles. I should trust and believe He will show up and use me. I shouldn't be afraid to open my mouth. I shouldn't doubt if He will show up because times past have proven He shows up time and time again. 

It's funny, and I use that term loosely, how we give such a powerless thing so much power. How fear is just things we perceive in our own delusional minds and how we make the unreal so real. Our minds are such powerful weapons that we allow to break us down day after day. 

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline."-2 Timothy 1:7(NLT) 

So if God didn't give us fear, then we have power over it. We have the ability to not choose fear. We can choose power, love and self-discipline instead. We can choose faith instead. Fear is so stupid and it gets me so angry. Fear has stopped me from doing so many things. Fear has kept me bound for years. Tricking me into thinking I can't do something when scripture says all things are possible to them that believe. It's time to take a stand. Time to take our minds back. Time to step out of fear and step out on faith. I am talking to myself here as well. Do something that fear has said you can't do. And then do another. And then another. Keep going until you are no longer allowing fear to control you. 

Until next time,

With Love,

Kaitlyn