The Press

To be completely transparent with you guys, today I made up in my mind that I wasn't continuing the "30 Day Break Through Series". I am the type of person who doesn't continue things that don't yield immediate results. I've started countless things, most of which I've never finished. I hate the sight of failure so much that at the first sign of things not working I bail. I don't stick around waiting.

How many of you know, we don't have the ultimate say so. I mean God gave us the power of choice but He wants us to chose life. He wants us to choose Him. So please believe every time we want to choose ourselves there will be "something" that nudges us to say no. Don't do that. 

For me, I wanted to give up on this writing "assignment" because let's be honest I didn't want to do it in the first place. I've been programmed for years and years that I'm not good enough. I've been reminded almost daily how I won't amount to anything. Of course my circumstances are used against me. I log into blogger.com daily to see if my writing is making a difference. To see if I'm doing this for nothing. And when I log in and see only 3, 4 and 5 views I have to admit it cuts deep. 

Coming from a place where you have seemed to fail so much. A place where it seems like the negative is more accurate, I really am only left to choice. I could give up. I could stop writing. I could go back to the shut down girl I used to be. The one who never dared to share her thoughts or experiences or opinions or beliefs because she often felt like a fool. I could go back to the girl who felt she wasn't supported. The one who felt her voice didn't matter and what she had to say wasn't important enough to share. But truth is, that won't help. Running from pain, fear and disappointment doesn't help. They don't change the situation. Overcomes do just that they over come. This whole life and everything about it is a press. At times, I don't feel strong enough for it but it's crazy because He put something in me that simply won't let me fully through in the towel. And who am I to say He was wrong in choosing me? Who am I to say I'm not good enough when He already said I am? Who am I to give in when He never did. So this year, one day at a time, I vow to press. To press beyond myself. To press beyond my now. To press beyond what I see. To press beyond the lies in my own head. This year I vow to press! Will you join me?

Until Tomorrow,

Kaitlyn