"Return to Sender"

Have you ever got mail that wasn't yours? How about sending something and it being sent back? Maybe you wrote the address wrong. Maybe the person you intended it for moved. Whatever the reason, the letter or package delivery was denied! 

I have been preparing for a trip to Atlanta this week, in that preparation because I believe the trip is purposeful the enemy has come fairly strong. Nothing new of course, but nonetheless hurtful....IF I allow it. You see in order for us to be tripped up, caught up, torn up...in order for him to gain ground over us a few things must take place. First off, we have to deny truth. When we get down, depressed, sad, let our circumstances be all we see, etc we must believe whatever the enemy is suggesting. We believe whatever is being said, done, etc is our end product. In order to do that we have to deny truth. We have to deny what God says, has said, etc. Second, when we choose the lies over God that is like saying "this is just too big for Him." In saying that, you are taking away from who He is. 

So, back to me and my preparation. LOL! For the past few weeks I have had so many....um, tests if you will. This week, I had to make the decision to either entertain foolishness or stand firm in what I know to be true which is God is my protector. I had a certain person repeatedly tell me that I would be rapped or kidnapped in ATL. Or you know, planes crash all the time, you shouldn't go. Well, guess what? As I type this blog ON THE PLANE, I'm going. However, it was on me and me alone to choose what I will believe. 

Now, those of you that don't know my story are probably wondering why such foolish talk was a test for me. But when I was 10 years old my brother started molesting me. And while living in Alabama in 2010 I was almost rapped. So, for a person to joke about that was a touchy place. However, like I said it was on me which "truth" I would believe. I could travel or worst live in fear or I could stamp those lies "return to sender". As a result, choosing to live from my free place. The place where I know whose I am. The place where I know I am protected. This week, I choose my free place. I choose God's truth over the lies of the enemy. Some of you reading this need to tell that thought, idea, rehearsed experience, etc "return to sender"! And never return to those places that previously tripped you up.

Until next time, 

Kaitlyn Marie

I don't need you...

I have spent most of my life as the "needy one". I needed someone to love me but I didn't love me. I needed someone to approve of my life but I questioned everything. I needed to be notice but I hated when people notice anything. Like paying me a compliment was completely uncomfortable. I wanted to be valued but I didn't even value myself. I needed validation in every single thing. I needed to remain in constant communication with people daily because I despised being left to myself. If I went a single day without talking to someone, anyone, I felt alone. I know crazy right. 

I am 26 years old, imagine living much of 26 years of life completely dependent on people. I lived a life where not only was I needy, but I had to feel needed. I associated need with love. If you didn't need me, there is no way you could love me. I mean if you have no need for me in your life how can that be love?

"TRUST GOD  COMPLETELY AND MAN DISCREETLY"

I have been reading this book and I would like to share part of it with you...

"Every time we get out of balance, we open a door for the devil. I had been leaning on the ladies in this group and placing in them the trust that belongs only to God. We can go only so far in any human relationships. Always place your ultimate trust in the Lord."

When I read this chapter in Joyce Meyer's book "Battlefield of the Mind" it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was one of those "I have to repent now" truths. I read it only hours after someone I'm in relationship with told me "you don't need me". At the time, I'm not going to lie I was so confused like "what do you mean, yes I do". All I have known is neediness, so when someone says "you don't need me" it shook me to the core. And after drying my tears and getting myself out of offense Holy Spirit spoke. He called me out of that death trap called neediness.

Truth is, I don't need you. I don't need your friendship. I don't need your love. I don't need your approval. I don't need your acceptance. I don't need your gifts, time, attention, etc. I don't need you to encourage me, notice me or validate me on any level. Truth is that's God job. And anytime we place those needs on anyone other than Him, we give license for that person to take a spot in our hearts and life that is solely for Him. So, no I don't need you. And this is not at all me being cocky. God absolutely uses people to fulfill needs. But we must know that our need is for the giver not the one presenting the gift. That's like going to a kids birthday party and the child only going to the other children to thank them. You know dang gone well that child didn't buy that gift.

So, no I don't need you. We can enjoy relationships with people. God places people in our lives. Yes, encouragement is nice. Absolutely, love is needed. And all the other things we "need". Often times, it is not the need that is the problem, however who we are looking to fulfill it. The only one we will ever have need for is God. And since He isn't floating down on a cloud to personally hand us stuff, people are used. So it is easy to get tripped up and say we need them and glorify what they provide but we have to shake that. It is God alone who provides absolutely everything that we need.

LORD I NEED YOU ALONE!!!

Until next time,

Kaitlyn Marie